lost between the physical & mental pain

 Lost between my physical pain where my whole body is acing me and I can't do anything about it other than letting the medicine take it's time (which will go away in few hours) and between mental pain where I've been trying to avoid for the past month as usual trying to run away from reality but that doesn't work right and the fact that I sulk everything inside even though I know the solution is just to ignore it and not give a hoot about it but I can't I feel that I'm trapped inside a cage even though I've been doing just fine the past month I guess due to me sulking in every situation that bothers me I ended up feeling this pain again but honestly a huge part of this pain is due to the fact that I always care about how other people feel more than myself always trying my best not to hurt their feelings in any sort of way from my part and always trying to help them out listening to them and try to give solutions but when it comes to me I do the complete opposite this pain is killing me and I wanna cry but there's no tears in me and usually they say that when you cry you feel a lil bit better but I'm not able to even cry to lift a part of the heavy weight inside me and I know that the all mighty is there for me I just hope that god heals my wounds because I know that only god could help me I miss being happy even though life is all about ups & downs but I miss being happy I don't wanna feel this pain again even though this time it's less painful than the before and I've improved myself a lil bit about starting to take care of myself first before caring about others first I pray that the all mighty helps me as soon as possible just like every time I have faith in gods plans even if I can't see it instantly but I'm proud about the fact that I have faith in gods plans because no one knows what's better for me more than the all mighty. I'm thankful and grateful for my health, for my faith, for having a roof on top of my head, for my family who I love the most being in good health, for all the blessings that god has given me from the smallest to the biggest.

Life is all about having faith and trust in the all mighty's plan and strengthening your connection with god I promise you that you won't regret it. 

All the love,

                       Your little peanut,